Esther & Adiel’s Blog

As I was driving to a customer in back Lawrence tonight, I was thinking of some of my single friends who are around my age (32) and what they’re up to etc. As I was letting my thoughts flow from one to another, I started thinking about Moshe Kanovsky. You may have heard of that name here before. He was a friend of mine who jumped from the Empire State Building on April 13, 2007. He had a very sad situation. Living alone, working as a lawyer which didn’t really interest him, away from a split home, no money, no love, and getting older each day. Imagine going to a job you don’t like, and then coming to an empty home all alone, and then looking at a bank account which is empty, and trying to figure out who your real friends are and why girls aren’t liking you. Moshe had it hard. Some people say he jumped because the medicine made him do it. Or that his depressed state kicked in some bipolar function and that he didn’t even know he was jumping…I say we have to fear the worst. Those might be the real reasons. But what if he jumped because there was no love in his life? What if it was because he hadn’t socialized with any family or friends for 3 days straight? no phone calls, no emails, no dates. As human beings, we need to feel loved and interact with our surroundings. We need to know that other people out there are thinking about us.

When I was single and living alone in a cold basement in Flatbush, I would be excited to get a *phone call*. Even if it was a customer. And to get invited for a meal on Shabbos? Whoa. it doesn’t cost them much to throw another potato in the kugel and leg of chicken in a pan of duck sauce (yum) – but it made me feel like wow. Do you know how good it feels to be the recipient of someones attention? Of course you do because you get it all the time. But do you also give it?

Being married for almost 2+1/2 years now, I must say it’s great to come home to someone who keeps the house ‘alive’ and says hello when she see’s you. My house is clean, the lights are on, dinner is ready, baby is sleeping (I come home late), and Esther asks me about my day.

Shouldn’t everyone get that?

So I drove over to my local shadchan who has been pestering me for my list of guys. We spent about an hour going over the list of 15 guys I gave her. They were all pretty solid guys. She said that she met at least 5 of them from other singles events. Some guys date for the sport of it. But the rest were a good catch. She wouldn’t take any of the names from the single girls list I had. Esther has a bunch of really good single friends and I know at least 3 girls that I’ve gone out with (some are older than myself) that are still on the market.

Anyway, I hope that none of these singles feel the pain that Moshe Kanovsky felt in his life. Maybe giving their names to a shadchan was wrong because now they’ll be solicited and pestered. Or maybe the pestering of a shadchan will give them drive to continue in their efforts to find love and grow their happiness.

There will be no more lonely people…..

BTW – You should be having guests at your Shabbos table every week! invite singles from both genders and let people naturally socialize. Even if you end up with one or two guests from the same gender, they’ll feel the happiness of being invited to your home/shabbos table. Don’t forget to call your family once a week!